Shedding a Tear....

There isn't a night that I don't shed a tear,I shed a tear because I'm hurt, alone, confused, and lost. I have never felt like this in my life. I don't understand, what i did wrong? All I wanted was to have a friend and bring back old times. To be able to laugh and joke, and stop this miserable chaos. I wanted to stop shedding a tear. I went to far, and I pushed them away. I failed and fucked up. I pushed and got what i deserved. I don't ask for much, all I ask is to be loved. Shedding a tear relieves my pain of feeling distance and rejection. I will never understand why a person can just be so cruel and just shut you out. I understand frustration and anger, but to a certain point. I understand cutting a person out if they committed a crime. I did neither of those things, so I Shed a tear, because i feel like i am trapped in a cage, screaming to get out!What has come over them? What made them change? I will never understand. I will never understand how once I was a good thing but now I am just a nuisance. I shed a tear because my heart is big, but its shattered into a million pieces. It doesn't matter. Who cares. I'll never be the same again, but my feelings will never go away. Fighting in silence is my strength. Shedding a tear is part of life, especially if I care so very much. I'll always shed a tear if that is what i need to do, to feel some relief of the pain i have inside me. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I let my emotions go, and now I am left all alone...Why couldn't i have been stronger and kept them in? Why was I weak? Why am I still weak? So I will shed my tears...Shed my tears every night, and I know it won't make anything all better again or help me move forward. What I feel will forever stay, so I will shed a tear if its the last thing I do.